A Steyn for a Stain…

Sebastian Gorka

Remember him? Sebastian Gorka? He’s like Bozo, the inflatable clown punching bag, he just keeps bouncing back. He’s such an unlikely success story – if this is what success looks like – a Hungarian anti-Semite and neo-Nazi sympathizer is granted a US Green Card on the strength of his marriage to an American heiress, and together they seize onto a feverish alt-right dream they can pedal to right-wing American media.

In a calculated move, on arrival in the US, thanks to his wife’s conservative connections, he meets Robert and Rebekah Mercer, underwriters of Breitbart News, and soon he’s a Breitbart on-air darling. In time, he moves over to Fox News where he serves up self-important, European-styled expert opinion on immigration and terrorism. Next, in a giant leap far beyond his inflated resume’, he impresses “the chosen one” and gets himself appointed Deputy White House Assistant for Counter-Terrorism.

But almost immediately, in a “you can’t make it up” moment, he’s busted by airport security for trying to carry a handgun on an airplane at Reagan National Airport. He must have thought that White House trailer-trash has “open carry” privileges like they do in Hungary. Thank God, they don’t…so, pink slip in hand, he finds himself back on the street. But, like the aforementioned punching clown, he bounces back to Breitbart and eventually back to Fox. Then, in a stunning behind the scenes move, his wife, gets herself appointed to be press secretary for – are you ready – US Customs and Border Protection. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Well, maybe you can. In March, even Fox couldn’t take more Gorka and severed the bond. Undeterred, The Gork took his schtick over to Sinclair Broadcasting, an even lower level right wing outlet. But, Fox needed to stir the pot with another Gorka, so they dredged up a guy named Mark Steyn. Yep! Here he is – same stubble, same piggy eyes, and same phony English accent. No, he’s not British despite the stage accent. He’s Canadian, and not even university educated, but high school in Birmingham, England, seems to have given him the twisted tongue he imagined necessary to succeed in America. It was surely the accent and the Gorka likeness that impressed Fox News, because this Mark Steyn is a fraud. He has no relevent education, no expertise, not even Gorka’s made-up credentials as a “counter-terrorism” expert. No, Mark Steyn is just another Euro-trash phony. Phony accent. Phony affect. Phony expertise. Just another carefully contrived, stubble-faced, empty-suited TV bully. 

Mark Steyn

Where do they get these guys? I saw Steyn for the first-time last week on one of my visits to check out Fox’s breathless attack on socialism. It was Tucker Carlson’s normal time-slot, but Tucker was lying low and the Gorka look-alike was filling in. It seems twelve of Carlson’s advertisers jumped ship when he ranted about how immigrants make America “poorer, dirtier, and more divided,” and Fox needed to give Tucker some vacation time to let things cool down, so Mark Steyn got the call.

Here they are: Gorka and Steyn. Too bad you can’t hear their bogus, RP (Received Pronunciation) British accents. They’re both straight out of central casting’s “Made for TV,” mold. Just the ticket for “the chosen one.”

Two of a Kind

We know how the anointed one loves the central casting model, and these two meet the criteria despite the fact that they’re immigrants. They had no trouble passing the real acid test. They’re both white males. I know it’s a low bar, but going low is how they roll in the current White House vetting process. These two clearly met the standard for admission even though neither immigrant is from Norway. But, then again, neither are Ivana and Melania. They’re all just assorted Euro-trash with after-market enhancements. These two have cultivated accents and speak in loud angry authoritative voices about how their adopted country is going to hell in a hand-basket. It looks like Fox just decided to replace the Gorka stain with another kind of Steyn.

And this is how it feels when I see or hear either one of them celebrating Trump’s leadership. It’s like I have a large rodent standing on my chest. Please, God, give us all a little breathing room and fewer phony accents.

PS: You have to watch this after reading the blog…

Colbert Spoofs “Dr. Gorka”

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